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sign language

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

You’re lucky enough to have people you can depend on. But there’s a difference between leaning on them when you’re in need and taking them for granted. You might be in danger of erring on the self-indulgent side and counting on your friends to be more forgiving and generous than the call of duty demands. They’d probably still give you what you’re asking for, but they’d resent you for it. Counter any mistakes you may have made in this direction by brainstorming ways you can give back to all the people who’ve been there for you. It shouldn’t be that hard; in many cases, a heartfelt thank you would do the trick.


Are you one of those Scorpios who can dish it out but not take it? For someone with such a potent sting, you sure are thin-skinned sometimes. Someone gives you a dose of your own poison/medicine and you’re screwed. That’s probably why you avoid, like the plague, most people who actually remind you of you. However, there’s tons you could learn from your dangerous kindred spirits. This week, try to get to know one. Sure, there’s risk involved, but you’ll learn what many of us already know: the thrill of that danger is half the fun!


Some people think Sagittarians aren’t territorial, because many of you move around or travel so frequently. Actually, you’re quite precious about whatever space you’ve marked out for yourself. It’s just that this so rarely pertains to the physical world; usually it’s some mental territory you regard as sacrosanct, and woe to whosoever dares set foot there. Sags can put down perceived intruders so fast they don’t know what hit them. Fine. You have a right to defend your turf. The problem is, since it’s purely metaphorical sacred ground, we don’t exactly know where its borders are. This week, should someone trod upon it, give them half a chance to beat a swift retreat. It’s only fair, and nine out of ten trespassers will, no drama necessary.


Don’t bother with subtlety this week. The sly wink that would usually let people know that you’re in on the game will almost certainly be missed. What would be hilarious to anyone in the know becomes offensive when they’re left in the dark, and can lead to major drama you have no time or energy for. Either skip the clever shenanigans altogether for a while, or spell them out a little more obviously. Sure, that robs them of some of their humor, but nevertheless that’s loads better than the alternative; at least you’re still soliciting laughter, not anger.


In your mind, the truth is a mighty weapon, a holy, glowing sword that can cut through all kinds of bullshit and cast a revealing light on any situation. In reality, the truth is powerful, but not all-powerful. There are those who wield deception and illusion in ways that reduce the truth to a toy light saber, easy to deny and ignore. That’s why you need to develop more tools in your arsenal to fight the good fight. I’m not asking you to cultivate deceit, and truth will certainly always be your best tool — but having a few other tricks up your sleeve will make things more likely to go your way — which, my dear, is what we all want.


Some people get this idea that you’re phenomenally confident and powerful, simply because of this aura you’re able to project (and of course because of your many talents). Few realize just how sensitive (and often insecure) you actually are. This is one of the quintessential quandaries of Pisces-hood. People are drawn to you because of one aspect of yourself, and bewildered by another you who’s completely different than they expected. Reconciling these two apparently contradictory sides of your personality is going to be a challenge your entire life. However, that said, this week you ought to be able to actually move them just a couple steps closer together.


I wish that simply pouring your heart out in an honest and vulnerable way would always get you what you want. It’s such a sweet and amazingly sexy quality of yours. But, as you know, even your most heartfelt truth sometimes falls on deaf ears. What’s more, it’s occasionally been the subject of ridicule, which naturally has made you reluctant to give it another go any time soon. I hope, however, that you can overcome that reluctance this week, because an opening of the floodgates and spilling some honest, unedited truth is exactly what this situation needs. And, bonus: this time, at least, it’s quite likely to get you exactly what you wished for.


Sometimes you get to play the glamorous role of punching bag. I know this sucks, but it’s part of the price you pay for surrounding yourself with such fascinating and volatile people. Luckily, you can take whatever they dish out, and then some. You’re not likely to be thrown into a downward spiral of self-hate by a few rounds in the boxing ring. Let those you love vent (to a point); it’s better they take out their frustrations with you, rather than someone who’d be crushed by them. However, there’s a difference between venting and out-and-out abuse. Know where that line is. If someone crosses it, nip that shit in the bud — for your sake, our sakes, and, of course, theirs.


Don’t take your duality to extremes. Things don’t have to be either one way or another. For instance, it’s a shame to completely sever an intimate relationship just because one or both of you is moving on. Presumably, you’ve both invested tons of time getting to know each other, and could still be valuable friends, even though you’re no longer having sex. Usually a comfortable new resting place for your changing relationship can be found somewhere on the spectrum between intimate sex partners and total strangers. All you have to do is look for it.


This week starts with Wednesday’s Aries Full Moon, which is likely to either kick your ass, or rev you into high gear, depending on how ready for it you are. Imagine yourself standing in the ocean, being battered by waves. If you’re not paying attention, a 6-footer could easily knock you off your feet and drag you into deep water. But if you’re ready for it, you’ve got several options: you could ride it, for a thrill, duck under it if you’re not in the mood for conflict, or just stand your ground, feet firmly planted, and let it roll over you. You like options, right? This week, stay alert and you’ll have them.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

You’re no backstabber. If you’re going to do someone in, you’ll usually do it to their face, with lots of warning. Leos rarely strike without loudly roaring first. People know when you’re gunning for them. That doesn’t cut into your potential scariness, because you’re still pretty ferocious and badass. But it does occasionally cut into your effectiveness. People have time to prepare for your fury to rain down upon them. This week, access one of the other big cats I know you have lurking inside you. Crouch down in the tall grass and stalk your enemy for once. I suspect you’ll be pleased at the results.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Let’s not forget the dark side of being a Virgo. While you guys have this great (and well-deserved) reputation for being generous, selfless, and energetically helpful, you also have a sinister talent for being extremely manipulative. The thing is, you’re so good at it that most people don’t have a clue you’re doing it. Lately, you’ve gotten some idea of the kind of power you’re unwittingly wielding, and now I’m worried that it’s gone to your head. This week, check your motivations. Usually, you manipulate people to do stuff that’s actually good for them. Can you honestly say your influence is that altruistic, or might it be more than a little selfish? If that’s the case, quit your voodoo hoodoo, right now — or it’ll come back and bite you in the ass.

James Caviezel

September 26 1968

Avril Lavigne

September 27 1984

Hilary Duff

September 28 1987

Bryant Gumbel

September 29 1948

Kieran Culkin

September 30 1982

Randy Quaid (pictured)

October 1 1950

Kelly Ripa

October 2 1970

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