Q: My friend likes to play tennis, and he’s good at it. A couple of times a month, he plays with a female coworker about his age who’s at his skill level. His wife is taking extreme issue with this. It’s not that he doesn’t want to play tennis with his wife, it’s just that he likes the competition he gets with the coworker since his wife isn’t a good tennis player. The relationship between the friend and the coworker is completely platonic. His wife insists that he either find someone else to play with (none of his other friends play tennis), or stop the activity entirely. Concerns about cheating have never been an issue before. Is the wife being reasonable? Or should my friend stand up for himself and tell her to get over her jealousy?
A Steve: As someone who runs every weekend with a female former colleague, you can guess where I am on this issue. Your friend needs to find out why his wife is so insecure about this. Perhaps he’s been inattentive. Talk it out. Also, even though she’s a lousy player, I recommend he play tennis with his wife a couple of times a month, too. It could improve her game.
Mia: Yeah, it seems like she’s mad about something else. Provided he’s not playing with this female friend every night, I don’t see the problem. Maybe he could find an activity to do with his wife, something they’re better matched for, so she doesn’t feel left out.
Q: I am looking for some advice on how to approach my wife about a breast lift. We’ve been happily married for eight years and have two beautiful children. After the birth of our second child, my wife’s breasts started to sag really bad. I know that it’s a superficial thing, but it’s becoming a turnoff, especially in the evening when her bra comes off. It’s also negatively affecting our sex life. She mentioned in the past that she might like to get a breast lift, but she can be extremely sensitive.
A Mia: Three words: Don’t do it. There’s no way your wife is going to take the suggestion well. Maybe you could buy her some sexy bras that would better support her boobs and suggest she wear them during sex? But suggesting the surgery will get you banished to the couch.
Steve: Well, as long as you agree to get a tummy tuck when your belly starts creeping over your belt, I see no problem. Think about all the wonderful things you love about your wife before you make such a radical suggestion. Unless, of course, you married her for her boobs.